PREVIOUS RECAPS: Episode One // Episode Two // Episode Three // Episode Four // Episode Five // Episode Six // Episode Seven // Episode Eight // Episode Nine // Episode Ten
I’m trying something different this week because I honestly don’t have the time to watch the entire episodes of this series at the moment and I don’t think my write-ups are gaining much from the endless context.
So as we enter the Debut Concept Battle (aka: original songs), I’m going to watch the performances on YouTube and rank them from least to most favorite. My most favorite this week received a lowly “C” grade, so… yeah. Things are pretty bleak in Boys II Planetville.
Again, these are my personal rankings — not the rankings on the show. And they’re 95% about the song itself because the performances were all fine. No one was a train wreck. No one was a “can’t wait to watch that again” standout.
Main Dish (performed by Main Chef)
This one has creepy staging with baseball bats that were even swung at the fans watching the performance during the intro! If a group must pose and posture, at least these guys commit to the bit and bring some drama to the schtick.
Song-wise, this is a shout-chant affair anchored by a chorus that’s just more shouting. I seriously feel bad for these guys’ vocal chords. This isn’t particularly pleasant to listen to, but it’s not for a lack of trying. Rock guitar adds a bit of welcome texture to the track but ultimately there’s not enough variety to make this interesting. Even chanting can be compelling if delivered with enough different rhythmic structures, but Main Dish is simply the same reheated leftovers over and over. I was exhausted by the end of it.
Grade: D+
Chains (performed by Love Is)
Judging from YouTube views and chart performance, this seems to be the song people are latching onto most. That’s not too surprising since it exists within fans’ beloved “sexy” concept — complete with a surplus of chains. The staging in the intro is actually pretty cool.
As far as the music is considered, this is pretty much exactly what I’d expect from a song called “Chains.” It has that slinky, stuttering sound boy groups have leveraged for years. I’ve never been a huge fan of this style because it always feels like a tease – as if the song is constantly pulling away from its best moments. This tends to truncate the melodic lines until we end up with a bunch of forgettable sing-talk. That’s the case here and as a result I find the song incredibly boring. The performance is fine, though the power notes could’ve used more oomph across the board. Ultimately, both the song and performance go nowhere and have no real killing points.
Grade: D+
Lucky MACHO (performed by 777)
“Lucky MACHO” is a godawful song title. If it was meant as camp I might actually love it, but this is K-pop so we know they’re serious. The introduction’s motorcycle poses certainly play as camp, but again that’s not the intention.
Apart from that, this song and performance color by numbers within K-pop’s blustery, badass boy group oeuvre. The percussion skitters forward with momentum that’s undercut by the comparatively lumbering rap. There aren’t many hooks to be found, as even the melodies feel truncated and functional. For a song with such energy, it’s surprising to hear how dull everything sounds. The track begs for a chorus worth coming back to. The guys do as good a job as could be expected, but the material does them no favors.
Grade: C-
Sugar High (performed by Nyangnyang Chuchu)
This song title screams “bright boy group concept with overalls” and that’s pretty much what we get (except replace the overalls with silly hats, cat ears and lollipops). You’ve got to love how predictable K-pop has become!
It’s not that I naturally prefer bright concepts over edgy ones. It’s just that – in this day and age – bright concepts are often the only ones that put melody front and center. I wish this wasn’t the case, because songs like this can also be a little cloying at times. To me, Sugar High feels like the most baseline version of this type of track, resting on established tropes without bringing anything else to the table. The melodies are pretty inert despite a punchy instrumental that clearly wants to push the song in more exciting directions. I like the strummed guitar and love the bounding dance break, but overall this is so weightless that it practically disintegrates in front of you. The performance has some nice moments but feels more like generic fan service than a memorable survival show stage.
Grade: C
